Thursday, March 23, 2006

and i can't fight this feeling anymore. i forgotten what i started fighting for

yeh. it's true, no matter what u may think. sometimes i juz look back and i can't see what i started out attempting to do. lost sight of the cause? yes. lost hope? definitely. i think i'm in desperate need of some guidance right now. sigh

ppl r human cos they can like reflect on stuff and then think abt how tt all sorta like fits in. but haix. if self-reflection is sometimes this painful, i think i'd rather be a robot, juz do everything and get on with life. much less painful and at least i can get on with my life. oh wellz. oh wait. a robot dussen haf a life. ugh. whatever.

nuthin much abt today lar. i spent most of the time crapping with myself and then after sch, was watching Zack play some funny game. Axis and Allies i think. damn uber screwed up game where history was re-written. i think some girl... mei ting or sth i think. was controlling America. then D-day failed utterly, Battle of Britain went in Germany's favor, cos Britain forgot to protect herself. and then it's like even better. Germany invaded Canada and USA was actually attacked. OMG. hahaha. damn farnie.

i wanna buy tt board game!!! haha. but i wanna a lotta stuff. includiung a guitar. saw FAii's guitar today. uber nice. i want one juz lidat! haha. but aiya. haf to wait until at least June i guess. no time to learn how to play right noe, and i dun think i'd even haf time to go and like get one. haha. and no money anyways. haha

oh yeh. speaking of which. sorrie Liting! haha. i din mean to dao u today in the canteen. i din even hear u call me the first time, or did u wave at me? haha. not sure. either lar. haha. but i din see anything... haha. and i think there's sth wrong with me. every so often, i'll like hear some1 calling me outta the blue. damn frightening esp since i know there's no one there at all. damn freaky. haha. but aiya. nvm lar

no hw today. at LONG last. haha. nuthin to do, so i got time to post this long and crappy post. i think this rox even tho no one's gg to read this post. or at least i hope no one reads this post, esp what's after this

i'm tired of life. i'm so totally tired of Rjc and all the stuff tt goes on. dun get me wrong. i think Rjc is a damn gd sch and all, and i think every1 has been like damn nice. i somehow get to know some1 new almost on a daily basis. well. with abt half the sch unknown to me, i wld think tt getting to know new ppl wld b easy... haha. but aiya. on the whole, it's like i juz dun like the way the sch functions. as in the culture and the politics. it's juz dam irritating. guys go outta their way to attempt to jaq u juz cos they wanna attempt to show their maniliness. while i'm like whatever. and i think i agree with enghui when we were talking on msn the other day. last time, it's always the girls who r supposed to b damn gossipy, apparently, now, guys r beginning to catch up with the thrend and bcom more gossipy also. but aiya. whatever lar. i can't stand it at all i guess

mostly, i can't rily stand the teachers, there r some damn nice ones, but the rest r like irritating to the core, and i juz wanna frag them. hafn't felt this way for dunno how long. even din feel lidat in RI lar. but whatever.

and this is the worst thing, which faii pointed out to me today while we were lounging arnd tgr talking. last time, u'd haf like mental exertion in sch, now, literally, u dun haf tt anymore. it's juz cram, and then go home and mug. i dunno but i'm a little unused to this kinda stuff. it's like totally pointless. who the hell is gg to care abt cramming? and no one participates during classes, i think it's like for all classes. there's this uver lack of participation. i guess i juz miss the old GEP sessions, where there's lotta crapping, and participation. haha

strange i guess, i used to hate my class last yr. i hated them for being so stupid, so insensitive, and for mostly being idiotic, but i guess tt's the sorta stuff which makes u think abt even more lar. oh wellz. can't turn back the hands of time no matter what the song may say. but i still wanna turn it back as much as possible. i guess tt's juz the way we all are, treasuring what's alridy lost. i bet i'll b saying this all over again when i'm outta JC

2 yrs aren't a long time, but i guess i'd better start treasuring them much better. for one thing, start studying more seriously. i hafn't rily been mugging seriously. usually slacking while i mug. guess it's time to change tt

ok. i think i'd better go alridy. buhbyeez

9:51 pm
>>>Lost n still lookinG<<<

Lyrics

Air Supply - All Out Of Love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Thursday, March 23, 2006

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